Bryan Fischer, that fractured Friar of Funda -mental family matters hates science!

So I thought I would get inside the mind of Bryan Fischer to understand him better.

Here is what I heard.

"today my special Human children I must speak about a fundamental problem in our society, the idea that we humans, created by God, are just a branch on a tree attached to animals, or as they like to say 'Mammals'. Oh that wicked Tree of Knowledge does take us down the path of evil and science is the serpent that holds that ruby red fruit of our destruction. If you look in the dictionary what comes after Mammals? Yes, my good human people, mammary glands and then Mammon comes after mammals, SEX and Riches, the message is clear, Mammals are all about Sex and Riches which leads to hate, violence and blasphemy, all the things animals do.

I am not a fur bearer that produces milk from my glands, I am a MAN and proud to be separate from the beasts of nature. In fact if you look we men and females only have two nipples, not six or eight nipples, one man nipple and one female nipple just like in the beginning, one man and one female, our parents Adam and Eve. The left one, the evil one, the Eve nipple, is the female nipple, the right, or the always correct nipple, is the man nipple, the Adam nipple. She how the words Eve and Evil look alike? Another connection that we have forgotten to teach our children.

Biologists say mammals are viviparous, I so NO to this, I am not a viper I don't care how much they talk about our reptilian brain. The snake is evil, that's why he has no legs, reptiles are all evil creatures, cold blooded really means they are cold blooded killers. Dragons, dinosaurs and demons have scales, sharp nasty teeth and can hypnotize you. Evil is evil and I will not be connected to the evils of all the biological sciences that say we are related to these evil creatures.

Our symbols of evil have been handed down since the beginning and science has time and time again masked that evil with the evils of knowledge.

We need to stop studying nature and animals because the scientists want to make us into animals, like apes or something. And last but Shirley not least, I think all the Psycho-analytical junk is just as bad.We must stop thinking about and studying animals, it just leads to people thinking there is some connection with them. Science is destroying our nation with outdated thinking, the Enlightenment has taken us down the path to Hell.

We need to put back bible studies as our Funding Fathers used when they thought about the evils of science and knowledge. Our Funding Fathers, if you read into their words as I do, loved God and hated science for a reason, it made the people deny God and then act like animals.

Reason means that at times we must be unreasonable when they attack our traditions, I see no reason to reason with science!"

A bit of social and political satire for Friday.

Watch for the Swift Carrot/Stick Society, Humor Nation coming soon to your neighborhood.