Dear folks and kids,
Having a wonderful time here, lots to see and do. But it is just not like home at-TALL. In fact it is down right weird for this older young pullet. First off, they don't hear so good as us, they ask me my name and I say "Albee Q. Turkey", and they go "What, Bar B Que turkey, did jah say, I sure would like some of that right now, is that a bun in your pocket?"
They do have a real passion for heavily sauced shredded meats of all kind, the sauce is made with this roasted bright red plant seed pod, they roast them right out on the streets, it is so hot that it burns your beak right off for a few good couple of hours. Everyone uses it every day. And if you get right down to it, they put this here red or even this here green sauce, on near just about any food, or even anything, in fact, I think I saw this one fella washing his car with the green sauce. I think they call it "La Soapadilla", that's what I seemed to have heard one fella say.
They drive around on the highway like demons from hell who are looking for a clean bathroom cause their bum is burning, the red sauce I think. Their cars and trucks and motorcycles, are loud and many are low. Lots of the vehicles are very dusty and look like dust bunnies zooming around, but in their favor, they must wash and hand polish their cars all the time, because I did not see one speck of rust on even the oldest of models. I do think it has something to do with the mysterious actions of this green sauce that they wash those vehicles with.
But an even weirder thing is, that on the small side streets, they are as nice as warm elderberry pie with melting ice cream on top, slowing down and letting you cross over to the other side of the street, like our chicken cousins do all the time.
Their rocks seem all red and pink, not nice calm and soothing grey rocks as big as a pumpkin and shaped like a nice egg like we have all over our way.They have huge house size stones all around, some seem to have been stacked up, one atop another, heck, for all I know, they may even paint all their rocks with that red sauce. But who would take so much time stacking and painting their rocks in this kind of sun. Heck, I feel deep fried and fricasseed with a turnip shoved up my cloaca walking around on the sidewalks.(At least their sidewalks are not all pink and red).
In fact, I do feel like melting ice cream that is having sex with all their red sauces, all at once. whenever I am in the noon day sunshine. It does seem like it is noon most of the day here too.
Their homes are all one story and flat roofed, and made of a light red brown mud, and I bet they thank their lucky stars that it does not rain around here more, or they could wake up to a melted reddish brown sauce flowing around at the foot of their beds in the morning. Speaking of melted reddish brown, they eat a reddish brown bean mush for breakfast, not like our great corn mush mind you, but it was quite tasty.
Their food is quite good, but all of the names are hard to say, but they have a nice photo to point at almost everywhere. But they do seem to serve a measly salad everywhere with every meal, it consists of a small handful of shredded lettuce and one slice of tomato. That must be why they have that bean mush right next to the salad, to mix it up with, I ate it that way and it was not bad, but it was not like a fine blue cheese or Roquefort dressing.
Just about every turkey down here wears shorts, I have seen so many scrawny turkey legs down here it ain't funny. And turkeys of all kind and breed live here. I even saw a young purple haired Asian girl turkey on the local college campus strutting around like some one had just pour grape jelly on her head and she was just loving that it happened. She did look like a sweet girl though.
My wonderful native guide and I, (now his legs were the first ones that I saw, that were not scrawny at all, his turkey people must have come from one of those hearty Scottish breeds), rode up on this nice car to the top of the mountain. and boy what a beautiful sight from up their, you could see for miles and miles. But, I soon starting feeling light headed and my mind seemed to go blank. My guide told me we had thicker air back home and I had to get used to this thinner air. He is so tall he spied a restaurant, that seemed far off to me, and picked me up and rushed me in, that it seemed like a few seconds and we were sitting down and having tea with a slice of pie.
I do think this hot red sauce, the heat and this thin air are making me sweat less and I am not gaining weight at all, I am coughing less every morning and my hair is growing much faster than a normal turkey's should.
I plan to put much more hot sauce on my food, wear shorts and sandals more often, walk up and down rocky terrains and so many old lava flows before I get home, so that I get so skinny they will only charge me half a much as normal for my return ticket.
Keep your eye open for a huge semi tractor trailer driving into the farm yard soon. I bought some red and green sauce for you all to wash your cars and keep them from getting rusty, like they always do up our way.
Happy giblet stuffing and gravy to all, I hope to be home soon, with the chickens flying around everywhere inside the cabin,
A.Q. Turkey in Albuquerque New Mexico